Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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