Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
