I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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