Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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