maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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