I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
