Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
