When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
