worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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