I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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