I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize