Michael Bay diarrhea
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
