Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
soo... how was my night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
