Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
