I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
