I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
