I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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