I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
sex in a hospital.. check
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
