So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
