There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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