Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
