If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
