just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dignity is for republicans.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
