We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
