Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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