Non-Jews are for practice
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
