She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize