you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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