I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
