The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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