once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
