For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
