I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
