Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
