only you would photoshop your dick
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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