tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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