elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize