i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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