Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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