Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
