Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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