Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
