So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
