Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
