Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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