Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
