Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
