these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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