Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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