Umm I'm too high to move.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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