Quick, to the slutcave!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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