On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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