I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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