her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
